Flatten the Curve: The Song
One of many tragic losses during lockdowns was art and music. Live performances stopped. Audiences were forbidden from gathering. Whole professional symphonies went quiet. Jazz clubs shut. Musicians were reduced to solo performances for online audio/video or cobbling together mixtapes of geographically noncontiguous performers.
There were some exceptions but on net it was a devastating loss for music. The contrast with the pandemic of 1968-69, during which Woodstock took place, could not be sharper.
Still, is it possible that the lockdowns would inspire interesting music? Yes, there is plenty out there. Below is a sample of an album forthcoming from composer/performer Neil Baker.
Originally from Sydney, he is now a rising senior studying Physics and Piano Performance in Boston, MA.
He is writing a musical called HIVE mind based on the events of the pandemic.
Please note: all music is copyrighted. contact: bakerneil0@gmail.com
Flatten the Curve
Lyric Sheet
Neil Baker, HIVE mind
EPIDEMIOLOGIST THERESA
THE VIRUS IS FANATIC, IT CAN’T BE CONTROLLED
KILLING AT RANDOM, THE SICK AND THE OLD
I’M TELLING THE PEOPLE THERE’S NO OTHER TRACK
JUST DOUBLING DOWN, WITH NO LOOKING BACK
THAT’S HOW I FLATTENED THE CURVE
ABSOLUTELY MARVELOUS
FLATTENED THE CURVE
IT WAS PRETTY ARDUOUS
I WROTE AND I TALKED TO POLITICIANS AND PRESS
THE CURVE IS UNDER SUBSTANTIAL DURESS!
MEDIA WOMAN CHANNELLE
WHEN THE VIRUS STORY BEGAN HITTING THE NEWS
WE CONTROLLED ALL THE CONTENT, WE GOT ALL THE VIEWS
THE MEDIA SCREAMS WITH UNANIMOUS VOICE
THE PEOPLE JUST LOVE IT – THEY DON’T HAVE A CHOICE
THAT’S HOW I FLATTENED THE CURVE
STICKING TO THE NARRATIVE
FLATTENED THE CURVE
AN ETHICAL IMPERATIVE
ALL THIS ATTENTION IS MAKING ME WET
I’LL BE MILKING THAT STORY TILL IT’S DRY AS CAN GET
ENSEMBLE
WHEN NO ONE IN YOUR FAMILY IS SICK
YOU CAN THANK OUR LAWS FOR DOING THE TRICK
BUT IF HIVE COMES AND KNOCKS ON YOUR DOOR
THERE’S NO ACCOUNTABILITY ANYMORE
CEO PARHAM
THERE’S NO OTHER SOLUTION THERE’S NOUGHT YOU CAN DO
YOU’RE CORNERED, YOU’RE DESPERATE, YOU’RE FRIGHTENED AND BLUE
WHEN ALL OF A SUDDEN THE TUNNEL IS LIT
PARVAX IS COMING IT’S GON’ BE A HIT
THAT’S HOW I FLATTENED THE CURVE
WORK IN MY LABORATORY
FLATTENED THE CURVE
FILLING MY REPOSITORY
COUNTRIES OF MILLIONS WILL BUY THE VACCINE
THE MONEY I’LL MAKE WILL BE F****’ OBSCENE
GOVERNOR KENT
THE MOMENT I SAW THAT HIVE WAS A THREAT
I TOOK REQUIRED ACTION AND HAD NO REGRET
THE POLICIES I PUT IN PLACE PREVENTED A SPIKE
DISTANCING, BLINDING, AND CLOSURES ALIKE
THAT’S HOW I FLATTENED THE CURVE
DENOUNCING ANY RIVALRY
FLATTENED THE CURVE
DISCOURAGING CONNIVERY
IF I WENT BACK I WOULD DO IT AGAIN
THE CURVE IS NO MATCH FOR GOVERNOR KENT
ENSEMBLE
THAT’S HOW WE SHOVED IT AND SQUISHED IT
WE’LL OFFER NO APOLOGY
PUMMELED IT AND PUSHED IT YEAH!
A WOUNDROUS IDEOLOGY
SQUEEZED IT AND SMUSHED
IT WON’T GROW EXPONENTIALLY
QUELLED IT AND QUASHED IT YEAH!
LEVEL IT EVENTUALLY
THE PEOPLE ARE FIGHTING AND WE’RE LIGHTING THE FUSE
THEN HANDING OUT LIFELINES THEY CANNOT REFUSE
EVERYONE COMPLIANT OUR CONTINUING GOAL
WE’D DIE BEFORE WE’D EVER GIVE UP THIS CONTROL
IF LOCKDOWNS KEEP THE VIRUS AT BAY
WE’LL LOCK DOWN EACH AND EVERY DAY
BUT IF THE CURVE STARTS SLITHERING UP
WE’RE CLEARLY NOT LOCKING DOWN HARD ENOUGH
FLATTEN THE CURVE
A LITTLE CONTRADICTORY
FLATTEN THE CURVE
THE ONLY PATH TO VICTORY
LEADING THE MASSES BY EXPLOITING THEIR FEARS
THE CURVE IS NO MATCH FOR OUR THRIVING CAREERS
Source: Brownstone Institute
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